In response to the #trending Zoe Saldana articles circulating about her Husband taking on her last name, I just couldn’t keep quiet much longer. I came across a Facebook post that a local news station had written about the situation and since I myself have an “addiction” to reading comments my eyes began to make their way down the list.
One by one I read on until I came across this one.
This was originally written by a WOMAN! So the backdrop to her mentality is that every Woman should take on their Husband’s name upon marriage. She goes on to write that “we all have rolls, like it or not.” Rolls…what rolls, oh wait was she meaning Roles? I may have grown up in a traditional Mexican culture rooted home but my grandmother herself broke “roles” by being employed outside the home.
Was she privileged enough to have an actual Handbook of Gender Specific Roles given to her upon birth? If so, I would love to see it.
The equality recognition BS she states, has been going on for years. I recently had a conversation with an 86 year old Chilean Woman who said she pioneered for equality when she was younger. She worked alongside her husband in the Village they lived in. She told me how some mornings her husband would wake up and feed the older children while she nursed the younger ones. If these so called “roles” are paramount to our existence then according to this lady the husband of the 86 year Chilean woman was being feminized. I personally despise this term. Why should there be negative backlash on men who wish to hand over some of the wage earnings, yard work, and auto mechanic to their female counterparts?
I was super stoked to see a man chime back with his own personal take that Roles should not be gender specific.
I am Mother to a 20 year old daughter and a soon to be 13 year old son. During each of their childhoods I never instilled gender roles on them. My daughter was the first grand-daughter on both sides of the family…this in itself posed a problem within our Mexican culture infused parental homes. She was constantly being given dolls and such. I did the unimaginable. One afternoon shortly after my daughter’s third birthday we had been invited to a family member’s home for their son’s fifth birthday gathering. This little boy received toy cars by the caseload. I gave him a cabbage kid doll. He placed aside all the “boy” toys he had received and carried his doll everywhere. By the end of the evening, it had become his baby. During this gathering something else was being birthed, the love that my daughter had for Hot Wheels. On our drive home, I stopped at my local Walmart and purchased a few. She loved playing with her cars. She didn’t put aside her dolls completely but she learned to incorporate both into play. She may not remember but all those years ago during her love for Hot Wheels she wanted to be a race car driver.
I immediately knew during my second pregnancy once knowing the “sex” of my baby that I would not instill these so called gender roles. Although he did have Hot Wheels, a make shift tool box center, and a power wheels four wheeler the one item he never parted with was a yellow stuffed Monkey. He named him Monkey…of course. He learned to be nurturing, empathetic, sympathetic, and loving all because we broke out of gender specific roles in our home.
So to the Woman who BELIEVES that this equality recognition is Bullshit…THINK AGAIN!