A Heart’s Journey-Chapter 5

The Movie Theater

He lifted me higher than the clouds. I took in every inch of his musk infused scent and reveled in it. “I have missed you” he said. I felt as if the crying dam had been infiltrated. An unsurpassed amount of tears fell on my face from his eyes. I comforted him in the only way I knew “I have had you in my heart all this time” I whispered in his ear. He gently placed me down on my feet when a stern voice appeared behind me “Mads, what exactly is going on? Who is this guy?” Tyler had stated. He never made himself out to be the jealous type then again I could not think of a moment in our relationship where I could have given him a place to be jealous. I guess there is some truth to the saying there is always a first for everything. Jealousy was not very becoming of him. Yet, I could see the unsettledness on his face. I turned to Tyler who was carrying a few concession stand goodies and made the introductions. “Ty, this is Bobby, we are old friends (emphasizing the word friends as to see if he would catch on.) We lived overseas together.”

Bobby reached his hand out as did Tyler and they shook hands “Nice, to meet you” Bobby took the initial introductions. “Same here, sorry Mads has never mentioned you before.” Ty stated. I think by this time Bobby could see the uneasiness I had on my face. It wasn’t as if I never had spoken of Bobby it was just that the one person who I did utter his name to was sworn to secrecy. She knew that my heart only had beats for him. I might have been dating Tyler but mi Corazon y Alma still belonged to Bobby.

The movie was set to start in ten minutes so Bobby and I hugged one last time in which I informed him that Jake was in town and that I had his number in my notebook at home. He politely asked one of the employees for a pen. “I am sorry Sir at the moment all I have on my person is a permanent marker” the worker replied. “Even better” he responded. He took the permanent marker and gently held my arm as he wrote the phone number to the barracks on my left forearm. I promised to call him when I had time with Jake’s number. “I hope to hear from you not just in reference to the phone number” he whispered into my ear. The shock of feeling his breath so close to me, near the one body part he knew was my weakness was so serene. I knew he could feel my body tremble through his fingers. His heartbeat was the only sound I could hear for miles.

Tyler and I took our seats a few seconds prior to the previews starting. I was on pins and needles because I did not want to have to indulge him in conversation regarding my past with Bobby. It was not as I felt he did not have a right to know, I just did not want to have to do it here. “So how close of friends were you with this Bobby character?” he asked.
I promised to apprise him with answers to all his questions later that evening. The silence was calm yet stormy. I knew he was unsettled seeing me in the arms of another male.
Silence bestowed upon us and I was eternally grateful that we were in a movie theater for the indignant behavior he was warding off would have eliminated my existence. I gently brushed my hand against his to signal peace. The gesture went unnoticed. A few minutes later, I tried again and again he shook me off as if I was a nuisance mosquito trying to make him my dinner. It was at that moment I knew to give him time and most importantly give him space. We are all guilty of needing space when we reach a moment of anger. The silence continued for what seemed like a century until the final credits of the movie appeared on the screen. “Tell me again why had you never mentioned him before?” he asked. I knew it was not in his character to over-look the current situation. I attempted to reach for his hand to help soothe him but he walked a few steps ahead of me. The walk to the car was empty. I had never experienced this type of hollowness from him. His persona took on a cantankerous demeanor.

The drive home was gloomy at best. As we pulled into my driveway he raised his voice ‘Tell me again, why?” “I never felt the need to talk about him because he is my past” I said in between the tears that had started to travel down my cheeks. “Please, do not be mad. It was so long ago” I stuttered. He was not having any of it. His despondent look turned from looking at me to looking forward at the circles of rain which had started to swallow the windshield. I knew we needed to talk more in depth about Bobby but I was not ready. I was not ready to bring to life what I had lost. “I know I owe you explanations just give me some time. I need time to allow myself to bring forth my past” I asked of him. “You take all the time you need” he sternly stated. He unlocked the door as that was my cue the night had come to an end. I stepped out of the car and as I turned to close the door behind me I gently smiled at him.

I sauntered into my room and threw myself on my bed. I grabbed my pink corded phone and called the one person who knew my life with Bobby, Rochelle. She answered on the third ring. “What’s up? How was the movie? Was it stupid scary?” she asked. Words never emerged from my end just endless amounts inarticulate sounds such as deep weeping in the company of tears. “What happened?” she asked. I started to catch my breath and I began to tell her of my evening. “You will never guess who I ran into at the theater of all places?” I asked of her. “No, let me rephrase that you will never guess who I ran into here in town?” I stuttered as I was attempting to compose myself a bit. “I ran into Bobby!” I said in an exclamatory tone. “What!” she replied in her high pitched voice. I was still ingesting the fact that he was here, a hop skip jump away from my front door sort to speak. “Yes, Bobby. I was walking about minding my own business when I accidentally bumped into someone seeing as you know I never truly watch where I am going. When I looked up, it was him.” I told her now having fully grasped complete composure of myself.

“It did not translate very well with Tyler as he saw Bobby lift me up into his arms and encircled me with his loving hugs.” I told her. I wanted to come forth with my own feeling of the moment but I did not want any type of judgment. Although she had never revealed any sort of judgment against me, seeing as I just encountered a first with Tyler I was not in a good state to experience a first with her. We talked some more and I answered all the questions she had for me and after about ten minutes on the phone with her, I finally had a calming effect to my stomach. I no longer was in tears and after placing the receiver on the unit again I knew I had to make one more phone call. I took a few minutes and headed to the kitchen to grab some water and made a stop to grab two aspirins. I was now experiencing the mother of all headaches. Stress and I never have been able to get along and needless to say today’s fiasco allowed me to give birth to what felt like an ulcer. I chased the aspirin down both at the same time; I had become a pro at swallowing pills after my bout with depression. I closed my bedroom door behind me and sat on bed with my back against the pillows. I puffed my pillows when I quickly realized one of them was a pillow I had gotten as a gift from Bobby. He really had never left my side.

Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring was the sound being heard as I placed the receiver on my ear. My calming stomach was now a memory. I had a burning sensation within me. I became nauseous. I enveloped myself with a small ounce of uncertainty. “Hello” the voice on the other end answered.

“Bobby…” I gently uttered into the receiver.



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